Have you ever shopped for that perfect outfit with a rambunctious toddler in tow? What should be a straightforward task always turns into a playful adventure. Not because the curious child enjoys the hunt for a pair of swanky, new pants. No! Playing hide and seek among the endless racks of hanging clothes becomes the whole purpose for the outing. Circular trestles entice the mischievous child behind the clothes into that magical hiding place where she can see out, but mommy can’t see in.
Sometimes I wanted to shop in peace, so I left my two giggling girls in the shelter of their secure hiding place to wonder if I would look for them.
“Is mom there?”
“Did mom leave without us?”
Other times I joined the game, calling their names frantically as I hunted through the circular clothing racks.
“Where are you? I can’t find you!”
But when the time came to leave, the only words luring them from their mysterious lair were “I see you!”.
Not “I love you,” but “I see you.”
Interesting how this simple childhood game speaks to a need for significance deep within the soul. Yes, I saw them. They belonged to me. I knew them inside and out. They were significant to me.
For the past several years, I’ve played hide and seek with God. I’ve done a lot of hiding, but God didn’t appear to be seeking. As I sat there in the safety of my secret place, insignificance settled deep into my soul and wouldn’t let go. Questions swarmed in like a plague of grasshoppers devouring life around them.
“Does God know I’m here?”
“Do I even matter?”
“Has God forgotten me?”
But one ordinary day while walking past the bathroom mirror, something unusual caught my eye. Stopping to look more intently, I saw a strange, unfamiliar reflection slowly take shape, and something I can only describe as “inner goodness” emerged. As I stood there motionless, deep within I heard the gentle voice of God say, “I see you,” and I knew he did!
Using the same three, simple words from hide and seek, God affirmed my significance to him. I belonged to him. God knew me inside and out. And I was good.
I’m not sure why God chose that day to reveal how he looked at me. I only know the tender revelation brought tears to my eyes and shifted my world. God saw me! You know, the kind of seeing that looks right into your soul and spots the goodness within – just like a mother looking at her precious child. At that moment, “seeing goodness within” became my heartbeat.
Perhaps you, like me, feel insignificant and struggle to notice your inner goodness. Or maybe this crazy, big world is so full of noise and news that you can’t distinguish goodness within you or around you anymore. Below are a few questions to help you reflect on how insignificance might be preventing you from seeing the goodness within you.
If you would like to explore the topic of insignificance further, please contact me.
Image: "Joyful boy playing hide and seek under the clothes rack at the supermarket" by Igor Stepovik, standard license.